i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
