You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I think I died a long time ago.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
