See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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