So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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