So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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