There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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