i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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