Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He felt like a one man threesome
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
