We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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