I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It's official drugs can't kill me
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
