i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
