I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
