I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
