dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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