I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
