why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
