Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
