No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
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