She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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