I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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