I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
