wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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