take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
