i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
