i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
