So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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