And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
