You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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