we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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