Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize