do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
