Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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