We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
