i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
