I want to make a zoo with you.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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