I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
