what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
