i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
