So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
