i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
last night I used snow as a chaser
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
