i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
