Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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