Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
