everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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