If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
