You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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