There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize