I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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