her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
