oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
