Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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