You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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