just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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