I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
