You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
NoShamevember. You game?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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