I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
