you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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