what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
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