I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
