She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
