If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
