i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
