I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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