he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
